Natalie Lamb and the 7 habits of highly effective people

My mentor, Jim Panton, CEO of Panton McLeod recently recommended I read "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen R. Covey. It took me an embarrassingly long time to read the book but I eventually did, the version updated with fresh insights by Sean Covey. In the below, I've produced a bit of a cheats guide to the concepts within this book as well as my personal best bits.

Book Concepts

• P/PC Balance: You need to have a balance between your production (P i.e. your output) and your production capability (PC i.e. your ability to produce). E.g. if you just work to get money but don't have leisure time, you will likely find work stress and burnout starts to impact your ability to work. The fable of the Goose and the Golden Egg was used as a metaphor.
• Interdependence: A list of 7 Habits were provided. If you followed the habits you were likely to be moved from a place of dependence (needing others to get what you want) into independence (relying on yourself to get what you want and need) and then into interdependence (cooperating with others to achieve a common goal, in doing so producing things greater than the sum of their parts).
• Habit 1: Be Proactive: You choose how to respond to what life throws at you. Take responsibility for your actions.
• Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind: Choose your short-term, daily behaviour according to what the major goals you have in your entire life. Think about the legacy you want to leave e.g. what would you want people to say about you at your funeral?
• Habit 3: Put First Things First: Don't prioritise your schedule, schedule your priorities. Think of tasks in terms of urgency and importance then focus on the important, even though they seem less urgent. If you think preventatively, it keeps tasks from ever becoming urgent.
• Habit 4: Think Win/Win: Most of life requires cooperation, not competition so be happy fr the success of others. Work together with co-workers, friends, and family for mutual benefit, a "win/win" or "no deal" (can't decide on a film to watch- go for a walk instead) rather than a "lose/win" or a "lose/lose".
• Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood: Listen with the intent to understand, not to reply, especially not with advice or an anecdote. Instead, present your views according to: ethos (personal credibility), pathos (emotional alignment with the other person) and logos (logical reasoning).
• Habit 6: Synergize: Value the differences between different people in relationships.
• Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw: Renew and improve in yourself by spending equal time with all aspects of yourself: physical (eat well, exercise), spiritual (inner peace. meditation, nature), mental (read to get a different perspective, journal) and social/emotional (help others, volunteering).
• Relationships are like a bank. You can't take too much out if you haven't put in enough.

My Favourite Tips/Sections

1. A story on the subway

"I remember a mini-Paradigm Shift I experienced one Sunday morning on a subway in New York. People were sitting quietly — some reading newspapers, some lost in thought, some resting with their eyes closed. It was a calm, peaceful scene. Then suddenly, a man and his children entered the subway car. The children were so loud and rambunctious that instantly the whole climate changed.

The man sat down next to me and closed his eyes, apparently oblivious to the situation. The children were yelling back and forth, throwing things, even grabbing people’s papers. It was very disturbing. And yet, the man sitting next to me did nothing.

It was difficult not to feel irritated. I could not believe that he could be so insensitive to let his children run wild like that and do nothing about it, taking no responsibility at all. It was easy to see that everyone else on the subway felt irritated, too. So finally, with what I felt was unusual patience and restraint, I turned to him and said, “Sir, your children are really disturbing a lot of people. I wonder if you couldn’t control them a little more?

The man lifted his gaze as if to come to a consciousness of the situation for the first time and said softly, “Oh, you’re right. I guess I should do something about it. We just came from the hospital where their mother died about an hour ago. I don’t know what to think, and I guess they don’t know how to handle it either.”

Can you imagine what I felt at that moment? My paradigm shifted. Suddenly I saw things differently, I felt differently, I behaved differently. My irritation vanished. I didn’t have to worry about controlling my attitude or my behavior; my heart was filled with the man’s pain. Feelings of sympathy and compassion flowed freely. “Your wife just died? Oh, I’m so sorry. Can you tell me about it? What can I do to help?” Everything changed in an instant."

2. "You can buy a person's hand, but you can't buy his heart. His heart is where his enthusiasm, his loyalty is. You can buy his back, but you can't buy his brain. That's where his creativity is, his ingenuity, his resourcefulness."


3. The 7 Habits of Highly Ineffective People. Maybe a bit tongue in cheek but I think it really works to show you these habits and what they mean.

"Habit 1: React: Blame all your problems on your lousy boss, your parents, your genes, your spouse, your partner, your ex, the economy, the government or something else. Be a victim. Take no responsibility for your life. If you’re hungry, eat. If you’re angry, yell. If someone says something rude to you, be rude back.

Habit 2: Begin with Squat in Mind: Don’t plan ahead. Don’t set goals. And don’t worry about the consequences of your actions. Go with the flow. Live for the moment and party on, for tomorrow you may die.

Habit 3: Put First Things Last: Procrastinate. Do the urgent things first, like answering every ring, bling, and beep that comes your way. You’ll get to the important stuff later. Don’t worry about strengthening your relationships; they’ll always be there. And why exercise? You still have your health. Just make sure you spend sufficient time each day watching YouTube.

Habit 4: Think Win-Lose: See life as a vicious competition. Everyone’s out to get you, so you’d better get them first. Don’t let others succeed because, remember, if they win, you lose. If it looks like you’re going to lose, however, make sure you drag the winner down with you.

Habit 5: Seek First to Talk, Then Pretend to Listen: You were born with a mouth, so use it. Talk a lot. Make sure everyone understands your views first. Then, if you must, pretend to listen by saying “uh-huh” while daydreaming about what you want for lunch. Or, if you really want their opinion, give it to them.

Habit 6: Be an Island: Let’s face it, other people are weird because they’re different than you. So why try to get along with people? Teamwork is overrated. Cooperation slows everything down. So, bag it. Since you always have the best ideas, you’re better off just doing things by yourself. Be your own special island.

Habit 7: Burn Yourself Out: Be too busy driving to take time to get gas. Be too busy living to take time to recharge and renew. Don’t learn new things. Avoid exercise like the plague. And for heaven’s sake, stay away from good books, nature, art, music, or anything else that may inspire you. And don’t even think about serving your friends, family or community. You’ve got too much on your plate to give back. Burn, baby, burn."

4. Goals are important- there is no point making progress in climbing a tree if it's the wrong tree.

Although on this point I argued. Is it pointless? You learn a lot about trees and about climbing. Maybe when you get to the right tree, you'll climb it faster? Why does everything have to mean something or get you there? 

5. A story out to sea

"The captain then called to the signalman, “Signal that ship: We are on a collision course, advise you change course 20 degrees.”    

Back came a signal, “Advisable for you to change course 20 degrees.”    

The captain said, “Send, I’m a captain, change course 20 degrees.”    

“I’m a seaman second class,” came the reply. “You had better change course 20 degrees.”    

By that time, the captain was furious. He spat out, “Send, I’m a battleship. Change course 20 degrees.”

Back came the flashing light, “I’m a lighthouse.”    

We changed course.”

6. It's easier to stick to your principles 100% of the time rather than 98% of the time e.g. consistently not working on evenings

7. Tasks can be split into:

• Urgent, important- 90% here= stress, burnout, always putting out fires. The Procrastinator. 
• Not urgent, important 90%= vision, perspective, discipline, few crises. The Prioritiser. 
• Urgent, not important- 90%= short term focus, urgency could be being assigned by the priorities/expectations of someone else, see goals as pointless, not getting to where they need to be. The Yes Man. 
• Not urgent, not important- 90%= dependent on others, irresponsible, get fired. The Slacker. 

Important tasks contributes to your goals. We react to urgent tasks, like a ringing phone.

8. You are always saying no to something. If you agree to take part in one project, you might be neglecting something else like your relationship, another project, exercise etc because we only have a limited amount of time.

9. "You can't talk your way out of problems you behave yourself into."

10. Rather than prizes based around best sales or most commission etc, have employees set their own goals in a year. Then give prizes based on whether or not they achieved the goals they themselves set.

11. In a presentation, present what you think the other parties objectives are first before giving your solution


12. People have different types of intelligence.

13. "Have you ever been too busy driving to make time to get gas?"

Natalie Lamb and the Laughology wellbeing sessions: Effective feedback

I’ve recently led a series of two Eastern Area Institute of Water events with a company called Laughology. I’ve written three blog posts about what I learned at these wellbeing sessions, one on thinking about thinking, one on negative thinking and one on effective feedback. Search for Laughology in the search box to find the other blog posts in the series.

Giving good feedback is important

Giving feedback is kindness. Have the kindness to tell your staff the truth. Tell them there is a problem before just firing them.

But there are different types of feedback.

Effective feedback focuses on processes. For instance “You are such a brilliant member of the team”. If it involves the word “you” it’s most likely praise or a critique on the person. Feedback on people themselves can cause offense. Equally, an outcome focused feedback process doesn’t give any information on how to improve or do things differently e.g. “WOW! You got an A, great win – let’s celebrate!”. Instead, the goal of feedback is to focus on what led to the outcome and effort. 

Good listening to feedback is important

Just as feedback can be given differently, so to can listening to feedback. Use the below to really show people that you are taking their feedback on board.

Laughology, 2021

Giving good feedback and listening well to this feedback is the most effective way of inspiring change in thoughts, feelings and actions.

Natalie Lamb and the Laughology wellbeing sessions: Change negative thinking

I’ve recently led a series of two Eastern Area Institute of Water events with a company called Laughology. I’ve written three blog posts about what I learned at these wellbeing sessions, one on thinking about thinking, one on negative thinking and one on effective feedback. Search for Laughology in the search box to find the other blog posts in the series.

Why avoid negative thinking?

When people are nervous, they can have a maladaptive response. They can fight, flight, flock and freeze.

Here are some examples of a particular fear people might be trying to avoid and how they act to avoid this fear.

• I don’t want to look ignorant- Not ask questions
• I’m not incompetent- Not admit mistakes/weaknesses
• That would be too intrusive- Not offer new ideas
• I don’t want to be seen as negative-Not critique the status quo

Instead of these types of responses, you want to create a sense of psychological safety with your team.

Laughology, 2021

Essentially, negative thinking can create negative behaviour. And you feel bad along the way. So, how do you break the cycle? Here are 5 tips on how to reframe your negative thinking.

Method 1 Shifting focus

To challenge and reframe your anxious thoughts, first notice them, then name them, then neutralise them.

One thing that really helps is to shift your focus onto things you can control. Rather than being concerned with things you can’t change (e.g. a global pandemic), change your focus onto something you can do (e.g. going for more walks than when you worked in the office). You feel better if you can control things, do things and make progress.

If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

Method 2 Change language

Reframing your problem with different words can really change how you-and others-see it. It could make your problem seem more manageable to yourself. 

Here's a great example, below.

Laughology, 2021

Method 3 Start your day right

To start your day with the right mindset, here are some tips. 

• Start with three deep breaths (approx. four seconds in and eight seconds on the exhale)
• Think of something you’re grateful for
• Set your intention for how you’re going to take on the day
• Power pose and ground yourself

Method 4 Trick your way to positivity 

The neurotransmitters involved in happiness are: dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin and endorphins. Trick your way to happiness with these quick tips!

• Procrastination can sometimes be caused by low dopamine. To overcome this, write a short to do list, tick something off, then celebrate.
• We release oxytocin when we’re stressed. To reduce this, get help, give help or cuddle!
• Serotonin makes you happy and also helps you sleep. To boost serotonin, close your eyes and visualise something that went really well.
• To increase endorphins, laugh or exercise.

Method 5 Be kind to yourself

Finally, remember to show yourself some kindness. When in a situation, think about what advice you would give your friends in the same situation. You are often nicer to other people than to yourself.

Natalie Lamb and the Laughology wellbeing sessions: Thinking about thinking

I’ve recently led a series of two Eastern Area Institute of Water events with a company called Laughology. I’ve written three blog posts about what I learned at these wellbeing sessions, one on thinking about thinking, one on negative thinking and one on effective feedback. Search for Laughology in the search box to find the other blog posts in the series.

Why is important to think about thinking?

Every experience in your life, whether that’s your upbringing or beyond, will result in positive or negative feelings.  Your pre-existing beliefs, values and memories shape the way you feel and the way you act. That’s why we judge people using only small amounts of information (hence the age old saying, don’t just a book by its cover). This is only a bad thing if we don’t challenge it.

This is also why it can be important to supplement your thoughts too. For instance, if we know why someone is doing something, we might react differently to a situation. That parent ignoring the tantruming child on the train might be on their way back from a funeral. Maybe if you knew their loss, you wouldn’t be annoyed by the noise. 

Laughology, 2021

So that's why we should think about thinking, to change our actions. But how can this be applied in our lives to your benefit?

Growth and fixed mindset

Growth mindset was a term first coined by Prof Carol Dweck, a psychologist at Stamford University intrigued by people who weren’t high academic achievers but who became really successful.

A fixed mindset describes the belief that you are naturally talented while a growth mindset describes the belief that an individual can grow and develop through dedication, hard work and purposeful practice, and not just rely on natural talent.

We both have a mixture of both of these mindsets depending on different situations but being aware of how you are thinking (metacognition- thinking about thinking) can allow you to shift the way you think and so react.

An example of a fixed mindset is that intelligence is static. This mind set would lead to a desire to look smart, block new ideas or not give things a go. But a growth mindset would be that intelligence can be developed through your life. This mind set would lead to a desire to learn, making you be more open, to listen to new ideas to give new things a go.

Lughology, 2021

Also, if you don’t want to do something you’re actually more likely to have a fixed mindset about it. 

By being aware of your thinking, you can consider your actions, your feelings and your beliefs to identify and eventually change your own fixed mindsets.

Natalie Lamb and the supposed luck

Some people, myself included, often say "I was lucky" when describing their achievements because they don't want to seem big-headed.

Instead, what they should be saying is: 

• I was the best for the job
• I get on well with people
• I was determined to make the grade
• I did my background research very thoroughly 

This person who appears lucky actually developed the right attitude then took the right steps to get themselves in the right place at the right time. There was an opportunity which they had the courage to grab. They don't wait for opportunities, they go looking for them.

They actually 

• Set themselves goals or took small steps in a direction
• Plucked up courage
• Picked brains
• Kept going despite many difficulties
• Made contacts
• Volunteered
• Told people what they wanted
• Had a positive attitude to change
• Re-trained

It feels more comfortable to say "I was lucky" but after a while you might start believing in lucky breaks and waiting for them to happen. Your luck was your own effort, determination, skills and experience. 

Examples of me falling into this trap

I signed up to the event. I spent three days working with strangers working in an area I knew nothing about. I had the courage to strike up a conversation with a stranger. I had the communication skills to express my research to a non-expert in the field. I was not lucky!

I filled out an abstract and applied to present my research at a conference. My presentation prompted a researcher to talk to me, who invited me to see their research in a similar area. I applied for a grant, my first time submitting a grant application form, so I could do the research. I planned and then travelled alone to the Czech Republic to spend days with strangers, helping with their research. I then wrote a summary report, as thanks for my grant. I was not lucky!

I did a lot of public engagement work with school all over East Anglia over the course of a year. I then filled out an application form for the award. I was not lucky!

I submitted a paper to the conference, which got approved. I then delivered my presentation, my first conference presentation to over 100 people. My prize for coming first in the presentation was to attend the conference in Glasgow. I was not lucky!

I applied to attend the event. I spent many hours learning how a WHO event works and researching Indonesian health concerns. I spent three days working in a model WHO environment, something new to me. I was not lucky!

I applied to attend the event. I then produced a poster for the event. I then attended the event. I was not lucky!

I applied to attend the event. I had to produce a presentation condensing my research into just 3 minutes. I spent many hours practising this presentation. I was not lucky!

I applied for the competition, which was highly selective. I produced a poster, which took a long time as it was my first poster. I contacted my local MP to invite them to the event. I then travelled to London. I spent a lot of the day speaking to MPs about my research in a way that they could understand it as non-experts and so it meant something to them. I was not lucky!

Natalie Lamb and the mental resilience: Getting the best from your brain

I recently went on a Institute of Water training course on “Mental Resilience: Getting the best from your brain” delivered by John Sunderland-Wright. These are some tips I learned.

There are 100 billion neurons in the brain with an average of 40,000 connections. You have more neural connections than stars in the visible universe. Repetition and practice strengthens neural connections while those connections that are not used become week. New skills and experiences create new neural connections but the connections also decrease as we age.



Cognitive resilience is your ability to overcome the negative effects of stress on cognitive function (e.g. identifying you are stressed, putting strategies in place to relive stress) where mental toughness is the vales/attitudes/behaviours/emotions that keep you going even when stress is encountered (e.g. motivation, confidence, composure, resilience, focus). One of the best ways to strengthen cognitive resilience is to improve the brain’s overall fitness, which can be done using the SENSE (Stress Management, Exercise, Nutrition, Sleep, and Experience) Model.


Stress Management 

• Chronic stress can result in brain cell degeneration and neurotransmmision, resulting in impaired memory and reduced emotional control
• There is no such thing as multitasking, only switchtaking, which results in increased stress for the brain and decreased quality of the tasks being performed
• Manage acute stress by focusing on your breathing
• Manage chronic stress by doing a weekly brain dump, scheduling time for yourself, practicing meditation
• A brain dump is where you spend 5 minutes writing down everything (both work and personal) that is currently on your mind)
• Some apps that can help you meditate: Calm (basic mindfulness practices with 25 free meditations from 3-30 minutes), Stop Breathe & Think (34 free mostly 15 minute meditations with a meditation guide). More apps and reviews can be found here
• A day of managed chronic stress could look like: beginning the day with a quiet brisk walk, chatting with someone over breakfast or coffee about the day ahead, starting the day with some planning of the day ahead rather than with a meeting, disconnecting from work during lunch, getting immersed in something other than work at the end of the day

Exercise

• Physical exercise helps build resilience, performance, and learning capacity. It can increase the blood flow to your brain, increasing oxygen and glucose levels
• Moderate intensity exercise should be done at an intensity of 5 x 30 minutes/week
• Strength training should be done 2 x 30 minutes/week
• Some way to ensure you get enough exercise: use Fitbit to get notifications every hour if you haven't done 250 steps (a free app but a wearable you have to pay for). Google Fit can be used as an alternative to Fitbit for step tracking but you have to have your phone on your person

Nutrition

• Healthy brain function requires certain nutrients and vitamins such as vitamin B12 and omega 3 fatty acids 
• Try to eat a healthy and varied diet with plenty of fresh vegetables
• Excess sugar and fat decrease the hippocampus function 
• Stay hydrated as dehydration can lead to impaired physical performance, slower response times and mental confusion
• There are numerous apps as well as Fitbit that can help you increase your water intake. Some can be found here. Water bottles with time increments can be helpful too. Or don't allow yourself to have another cup of tea until you have drank your bottle of water

Sleep

• Sleep is critical to brain health and function and particularly for short term performance and long term health
• The Pittsburgh Sleep Quality Index can be used to determine your sleep quality
• Keep regular sleep hours rather than having a lie in on the weekends
• Avoid stimulants and stimulation 1h30 before bed
• The best sleeping condition is a cooler temperature with low light
• Napping is OK
• 2-3 or 5-6 are the best times to nap
• Nap for 10-20mins or 90mins 

Experience

• Mental effort and novelty are needed to stimulate the brain
• Brain training should be: repeated, challenging, novel, require your attention, motivating
• Some brain training apps: Fit Brains Trainer (more than 35 games, grouped into different workout sessions), Lumosity (a daily programme of mini-games with stat-tracking to show your improvement over time) and more can be found here.
• Brain training can also be done with puzzles e.g. suduku

Natalie Lamb and the PhD journey

I attended an event recently, "Managing your PhD as a Project" delivered by Kevin Byron at The University of Sheffield. This blog post summaries some of the information I learned during this training course, including what a PhD is and what to expect from a PhD.

What is a PhD? 
“To be admitted to the degree of Doctor of Philosophy a candidate shall have presented a thesis on the advanced study and research which has satisfied the examiners and contains original work, and contains material which is deemed worthy of publication, and shall have satisfied the examiners in an oral examination. A candidate may submit in support of the thesis any published work in the general field of the approved study.”

What is a PhD really about?

• You!
• Knowledge
• Contribution
• Understanding 
• Skills- both discipline specific and transferable
• Ability to communicate
• Professionalism e.g. honesty, integrity, reliability, integration with profession, self-improvement

One really important thing about a PhD is developing your skills. You can complete a self-assessment exercise to determine if your skills are developing and where you may need further training.

Kevin Byron (2018)

What to expect in year one

• To record meetings with your Supervisor (and frequently!). Find out what works best for you
• Update a "daybook" of progress and tasks completed
• Produce and plan monthly/6 monthly reports
• Know how to use purchasing forms etc. i.e. get the equipment you need
• Prepare for and complete your confirmation review 
• You have to answer a list of questions:
• What are the gaps/discontinuities/existing boundaries in the current knowledge base of your specialised topic?
• What specific problem(s) based on these observations are you aiming to investigate?
• How would you succinctly express these problems as original research questions, and what is novel in your approach to solving them?
• What is under investigation by others in this area? who and where are the key researchers?
• How would you express your research questions as hypotheses?
• Have you done everything on the below checklist?

Kevin Byron (2018)

What to expect from the later years of a PhD: The PhD journey

Things to go wrong! It may look like the PhDs of others follows a route of continuous progression but actually research follows a pattern of creative steps, delays and setbacks. And everyone gets these problems- you are not alone.

Kevin Byron (2018)

I produced this image depicting how I feel like my PhD has and will progress. As you can see, there is a lot of going around in circles!

Natalie Lamb (2018)

The research cycle should look a bit more like this! A useful infographic for describing the PhD journey can be found here but I find this image a little too clear cut- everything looks a bit too easy.

Harwood, WS et al. (2004)

It is true that things go wrong and it can make things difficult, however some emotional pressure can be important to improve performance. It is very much about getting the balance right.

Kevin Byron (2018)

Natalie Lamb and 6 Ways to Beat PhD Stress

I have decided to take part in a short online course being ran by The University of Sheffield into stress, mental wellbeing for your everyday. I thought I would share what I have been learning with others who may also benefit from this resource.


Why am I stressed?

Stress drives physiological responses in the body. It can often manifest itself in a change of behaviour, for example, it can make you argumentative, agitated or anxious. This could result in worrying or potentially lead to avoidance behaviour or the abuse of alcohol, food or drugs. Procrastination, for instance, is a genuine psychological response to workload demands.

Stress is common in PhD students for lots of different reasons. Maybe a PhD student feels stress because they feel like they're dealing with problems alone, they have a lot of research to do in a small amount of time, they may constantly compare yourself with others or they feel like their work is never good enough.

One example is that of perfectionism, which can cause self-defeating thoughts and behaviours due to unrealistic goals. Perfectionists may have learned to value themselves only on the basis of other people's approval, leaving them vulnerable and sensitive to the opinions and criticism of others, making them try to be perfect as a defence mechanism. They may also be catastrophising, worrying about the bigger impact of a failure. 

How can I stop stress?

1. Ask for help

Asking for help may seem like a sign of weakness or that you're not clever enough to be completing the PhD but these thoughts can lead to self imposed pressure, potentially resulting in anxiety or depression. You need to work out what area of your life you need some help and then go ahead and ask for it.


2. Stop the cycle of worry using "The Worry Tree"

3. Cope with failure

If you recognise the feeling of feeling inadequate due to a failure, you can take a step back and realise that the wider implication of this failure may not be as big as you thought at first. Try and reach out and get some support if you are feeling this way e.g. contact your supervisor if you have missed or are going to miss a deadline. That's what they're there for.


4. See the situation more clearly and in a different way using "The Helicopter View"

5. Calm any panic attacks

Panic attacks are a form of acute anxiety in response to a sudden and excessive amount of hormones in your bloodstream. There are some strategies to help calm this often frightening (although not harmful) feeling:

• Focus on the present/distract yourself
• Remind yourself that the panic will end and that you will beat it
• Think positive coping thoughts
• Stretch out your body

6. Practise Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a way of paying attention to, and seeing clearly the things that are happening in our lives. It may not eliminate life’s pressures but it can help us respond to them in a calm way that benefits both our mental and physical health. You can practise it by choosing an everyday activity and chore and paying close attention to every single detail of what you are doing, without letting other thoughts distract you.

Further Reading and References

Butler, G and Hope, T (2007), The Worry Tree, https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk// (Accessed: 09/03/18)

The University of Sheffield, Fly-Mental Wellbeing for your Everyday, Online Course (Accessed: 09/03/18). 

Vivyan, C (2009), Different Perspectives, https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk//perspectives.htm (Accessed: 09/03/18)