Natalie Lamb and the 7 habits of highly effective people

My mentor, Jim Panton, CEO of Panton McLeod recently recommended I read "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen R. Covey. It took me an embarrassingly long time to read the book but I eventually did, the version updated with fresh insights by Sean Covey. In the below, I've produced a bit of a cheats guide to the concepts within this book as well as my personal best bits.

Book Concepts

• P/PC Balance: You need to have a balance between your production (P i.e. your output) and your production capability (PC i.e. your ability to produce). E.g. if you just work to get money but don't have leisure time, you will likely find work stress and burnout starts to impact your ability to work. The fable of the Goose and the Golden Egg was used as a metaphor.
• Interdependence: A list of 7 Habits were provided. If you followed the habits you were likely to be moved from a place of dependence (needing others to get what you want) into independence (relying on yourself to get what you want and need) and then into interdependence (cooperating with others to achieve a common goal, in doing so producing things greater than the sum of their parts).
• Habit 1: Be Proactive: You choose how to respond to what life throws at you. Take responsibility for your actions.
• Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind: Choose your short-term, daily behaviour according to what the major goals you have in your entire life. Think about the legacy you want to leave e.g. what would you want people to say about you at your funeral?
• Habit 3: Put First Things First: Don't prioritise your schedule, schedule your priorities. Think of tasks in terms of urgency and importance then focus on the important, even though they seem less urgent. If you think preventatively, it keeps tasks from ever becoming urgent.
• Habit 4: Think Win/Win: Most of life requires cooperation, not competition so be happy fr the success of others. Work together with co-workers, friends, and family for mutual benefit, a "win/win" or "no deal" (can't decide on a film to watch- go for a walk instead) rather than a "lose/win" or a "lose/lose".
• Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood: Listen with the intent to understand, not to reply, especially not with advice or an anecdote. Instead, present your views according to: ethos (personal credibility), pathos (emotional alignment with the other person) and logos (logical reasoning).
• Habit 6: Synergize: Value the differences between different people in relationships.
• Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw: Renew and improve in yourself by spending equal time with all aspects of yourself: physical (eat well, exercise), spiritual (inner peace. meditation, nature), mental (read to get a different perspective, journal) and social/emotional (help others, volunteering).
• Relationships are like a bank. You can't take too much out if you haven't put in enough.

My Favourite Tips/Sections

1. A story on the subway

"I remember a mini-Paradigm Shift I experienced one Sunday morning on a subway in New York. People were sitting quietly — some reading newspapers, some lost in thought, some resting with their eyes closed. It was a calm, peaceful scene. Then suddenly, a man and his children entered the subway car. The children were so loud and rambunctious that instantly the whole climate changed.

The man sat down next to me and closed his eyes, apparently oblivious to the situation. The children were yelling back and forth, throwing things, even grabbing people’s papers. It was very disturbing. And yet, the man sitting next to me did nothing.

It was difficult not to feel irritated. I could not believe that he could be so insensitive to let his children run wild like that and do nothing about it, taking no responsibility at all. It was easy to see that everyone else on the subway felt irritated, too. So finally, with what I felt was unusual patience and restraint, I turned to him and said, “Sir, your children are really disturbing a lot of people. I wonder if you couldn’t control them a little more?

The man lifted his gaze as if to come to a consciousness of the situation for the first time and said softly, “Oh, you’re right. I guess I should do something about it. We just came from the hospital where their mother died about an hour ago. I don’t know what to think, and I guess they don’t know how to handle it either.”

Can you imagine what I felt at that moment? My paradigm shifted. Suddenly I saw things differently, I felt differently, I behaved differently. My irritation vanished. I didn’t have to worry about controlling my attitude or my behavior; my heart was filled with the man’s pain. Feelings of sympathy and compassion flowed freely. “Your wife just died? Oh, I’m so sorry. Can you tell me about it? What can I do to help?” Everything changed in an instant."

2. "You can buy a person's hand, but you can't buy his heart. His heart is where his enthusiasm, his loyalty is. You can buy his back, but you can't buy his brain. That's where his creativity is, his ingenuity, his resourcefulness."


3. The 7 Habits of Highly Ineffective People. Maybe a bit tongue in cheek but I think it really works to show you these habits and what they mean.

"Habit 1: React: Blame all your problems on your lousy boss, your parents, your genes, your spouse, your partner, your ex, the economy, the government or something else. Be a victim. Take no responsibility for your life. If you’re hungry, eat. If you’re angry, yell. If someone says something rude to you, be rude back.

Habit 2: Begin with Squat in Mind: Don’t plan ahead. Don’t set goals. And don’t worry about the consequences of your actions. Go with the flow. Live for the moment and party on, for tomorrow you may die.

Habit 3: Put First Things Last: Procrastinate. Do the urgent things first, like answering every ring, bling, and beep that comes your way. You’ll get to the important stuff later. Don’t worry about strengthening your relationships; they’ll always be there. And why exercise? You still have your health. Just make sure you spend sufficient time each day watching YouTube.

Habit 4: Think Win-Lose: See life as a vicious competition. Everyone’s out to get you, so you’d better get them first. Don’t let others succeed because, remember, if they win, you lose. If it looks like you’re going to lose, however, make sure you drag the winner down with you.

Habit 5: Seek First to Talk, Then Pretend to Listen: You were born with a mouth, so use it. Talk a lot. Make sure everyone understands your views first. Then, if you must, pretend to listen by saying “uh-huh” while daydreaming about what you want for lunch. Or, if you really want their opinion, give it to them.

Habit 6: Be an Island: Let’s face it, other people are weird because they’re different than you. So why try to get along with people? Teamwork is overrated. Cooperation slows everything down. So, bag it. Since you always have the best ideas, you’re better off just doing things by yourself. Be your own special island.

Habit 7: Burn Yourself Out: Be too busy driving to take time to get gas. Be too busy living to take time to recharge and renew. Don’t learn new things. Avoid exercise like the plague. And for heaven’s sake, stay away from good books, nature, art, music, or anything else that may inspire you. And don’t even think about serving your friends, family or community. You’ve got too much on your plate to give back. Burn, baby, burn."

4. Goals are important- there is no point making progress in climbing a tree if it's the wrong tree.

Although on this point I argued. Is it pointless? You learn a lot about trees and about climbing. Maybe when you get to the right tree, you'll climb it faster? Why does everything have to mean something or get you there? 

5. A story out to sea

"The captain then called to the signalman, “Signal that ship: We are on a collision course, advise you change course 20 degrees.”    

Back came a signal, “Advisable for you to change course 20 degrees.”    

The captain said, “Send, I’m a captain, change course 20 degrees.”    

“I’m a seaman second class,” came the reply. “You had better change course 20 degrees.”    

By that time, the captain was furious. He spat out, “Send, I’m a battleship. Change course 20 degrees.”

Back came the flashing light, “I’m a lighthouse.”    

We changed course.”

6. It's easier to stick to your principles 100% of the time rather than 98% of the time e.g. consistently not working on evenings

7. Tasks can be split into:

• Urgent, important- 90% here= stress, burnout, always putting out fires. The Procrastinator. 
• Not urgent, important 90%= vision, perspective, discipline, few crises. The Prioritiser. 
• Urgent, not important- 90%= short term focus, urgency could be being assigned by the priorities/expectations of someone else, see goals as pointless, not getting to where they need to be. The Yes Man. 
• Not urgent, not important- 90%= dependent on others, irresponsible, get fired. The Slacker. 

Important tasks contributes to your goals. We react to urgent tasks, like a ringing phone.

8. You are always saying no to something. If you agree to take part in one project, you might be neglecting something else like your relationship, another project, exercise etc because we only have a limited amount of time.

9. "You can't talk your way out of problems you behave yourself into."

10. Rather than prizes based around best sales or most commission etc, have employees set their own goals in a year. Then give prizes based on whether or not they achieved the goals they themselves set.

11. In a presentation, present what you think the other parties objectives are first before giving your solution


12. People have different types of intelligence.

13. "Have you ever been too busy driving to make time to get gas?"